Isn’t this the aim? To stand squarely in the centre of your life – empowered, aware and somewhat in control? Yet, how often do we get knocked to the edge to hang blue-fingered, fighting the plummet down? Or we just free fall into the abyss.
Life is like a box of chocolates. We never really know what we are going to get from it. (Thanks and credit to the Forrest Gump movie for this perfect analogy.) The more we hope and design in favour of our favourite choccies, the better, despite the lack of guarantee! This is the point of this blog post. To empower you to keep carving out what you want your life to be like and how to most often stand in the hallowed centre, in spite of the proximity of the disagreeable edges. And yes, that you will fall over intermittently.
In fact, I want you to make friends with the inconvenient edges. The less you fear them, the less on alert, the brain’s amygdalae and fear centre. Then, the less switched on your whole nervous system will be for danger. Isn’t this a cool fact to keep top of mind!
The shitty edges. The free fall. They’re all part of the game of life.
So here we are…Reaching for the chocolate we want and just allowing all other realities to exist simultaneously.
So, that was a necessary diversion, because I really want you to be able to hold duality with a great dose of acceptance. Then you can stand in the centre of your life more often.
Now about that delicious centre of your life. This is the juicy bit. Becoming a chocolate connoisseur. You need a recipe you love. You love.
When I engage in therapy with people, I move them towards figuring out what they love. Sometimes they have spent so much time in survival mode because of how past events have shaped them, they have moved far away from joy. And the nervous system responds accordingly. It is either on alert as part of the adaptation, or in shutdown. The person engages in certain sabotaging behaviours to stay aligned with deep-seated, maligned beliefs and ultimately love.
All we want is to be loved.
The love that is missing is the love that you don’t give
Quoted to me by Lise Wearing on Camino. How profound.
To be loved in a healthy way by others and life, we first have to love…ourselves. We have to end the deprivation. Then we can allow the delicious centre of ourselves to build. And the more we generate it, the more we can match it, find it, let it flow inside and beyond, till it becomes deliciously normal and magnetic. This is step one and there are no shortcuts. Adopt this work as your life’s work: we all have ongoing work to reinforce here!
Now you can stand in the centre of your life, choosing what you love, to match the love inside. You will relax and seek and meld with what means something to you – “divine” life moments; noticing them and engaging with them. You will know when you find them because you will feel good – your senses heightened, your body in harmony as you take a glimpse at your real, higher self.
How can we stand in the centre of life more?
- Giving our bodies love in the form of movement and nutrition
- Choosing regular activities that light us up
- Saying no, when it feels like no
- Taking time to work out what is uniquely important to us
- Saying yes to what feels like yes, and taking the first step
- Dreaming dreams
- Having daily aligned, healthy purpose and intention
- Rejuvenating for health and well being in nature
- Letting go and letting go some more (the past hurts)
- Choosing to immerse in life’s bounty of beauty and beautiful experiences
- Connecting with people and feeling connected
Keep choosing the chocolates you want and thank the bitter ones for sharpening your taste!
Keep making life sweeter.
Darene
- I am a holistic mental health practitioner, specialising in stress, anxiety and trauma. If you would like to find out how I can help you stand in the centre of your life with the latest in neuroscience, all the details are here: dareneputtergill.com
Darene Puttergill Holistic Mental Health 