The Biggest Factor That Will Influence Your Healing (Becoming whole)

I’m going to say it straight out. 

You will only start to heal when you are ready. In fact, when you’ve decided it’s time to embrace and create the change you’re looking for. 


No therapist can do it for you. You are the magic ingredient and the brilliant catalyst – the one who wants the change, allows it and will commit lovingly to the journey you must take towards a new, whole identity. Even more critical, you are the one who will leave the epiphanies reached in the therapist’s room to navigate the tricky transition to new behaviours solo. These new behaviours will critically create new neural pathways, habits and forge the new you.

Of course, it’s the best decision you will ever make. 


Recently, I heard a well-known therapist justifiably say they would only work with clients who were ready to change. Who were fully motivated.

So why can it be fraught and elusive, and plain difficult to just say yes to you? To your healing journey.

Because maybe…(alert: some of these factors power on below conscious awareness)

  • You’ve seldom or never done it before. If you started you would be displacing people in your life, who are used to you being a certain, familiar way. 
  • Maybe you can’t say no; you can’t displease. 
  • It would be selfish to take any action that puts you ahead of your family, friends, culture or religion.
  • You’re repeating hardwired patterns inherited from your parents, your grandparents and maybe even further back.
  • You lack self belief and confidence to stand alone on this journey that only you can take.
  • Your motivation to change is not big enough. You don’t even know what your new identity looks like.
  • There are benefits to staying exactly the same which keep you where you are. (But unfulfilled.) For example, the route to healing seems too hard to fit into your already busy life.

Human beings are such complex, interesting creatures. The biggest trouble is, we still exhibit the survival part of the brain that wires us for tribal conformity and inclusion. 

It takes courage and determination to choose you. And there will be no definite end to this non-linear journey you must take. But it is lined with gold: exceptional, life-enhancing reward. When you do, you are on the way to becoming the most fabulous, best version of you and you will develop unfound confidence and trust in yourself. The home in you will be strong and loving, ready to weather any storm. Ready to serve family and friends in the most healthful and empowering way.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s